I was thinking an appropriate piece to compliment My Potty Mouth would be an assessment of popular public restrooms by a rather reserved female with a baby, like myself.
My Top Three:
Each is usually clean, with an area to sit and a changing “station,” as opposed to a changing “table.” Of course, I’m basing this on my limited Texas and Oklahoma experience.
Nordstrom — This Vintage Can for Real Ladies features a separate ladies’ lounge, a separate mothers’ room, and a separate changing area with a counter-table, sink, & changing supplies. The toilet area boasts purse hooks, bag trays, seat covers, and automatic fixtures. You’ll find full-length mirrors in both the lounge and the toilet areas. Enjoy live piano music, instead of a musical rendition of “I’ll Make Love to You” or Top 40 Easy Listening, as you use The Powder Room the old fashioned way.
(Family Restroom available.)
Dillard’s Men’s Department — Ladies come first in the Men’s Dept., even more than they do in the Women’s Dept. It’s not just a matter of less use, although that keeps things fresher. The MD Ladies’ Room has a small sitting area, with a separate space for all your primping needs. The MD always has a changing table, whereas the WD doesn’t. The “table” is a waist-level counter with recessed changing spot. The spot’s a little short and (in the Willow Bend mall) you must use your stroller to keep the handicapped stall door from hitting you, but it’s still nice.
(Dillard’s Home Dept. is also generally better than the WD. This is true of the Abilene Mall and the Parks.)
Neiman-Marcus — Neiman’s offers luxury to those who have perseverance. NM has more floors than the actual mall and the type of restroom alternates with the floor. So you have a stream-line Ladies’ Room with no couch on floor one, then a bigger one on the next. The best is on the top floor. You’ll be greeted by a wide sitting area, glittering with framed mirrors, gilded chairs, and animal prints. Spacious stalls feature floor-to-ceiling doors. The handicapped stall boasts its own vanity! You’ll find a changing area outside the restroom, with a counter-table and sink. Depending on the day, you can pick up a free bottle of water or club soda too. If you use this restroom in your Gap jeans and your Banana Republic t-shirt, you may receive some snooty looks. BUT if you go in the same outfit with a baby, you’ll instantly become invisible and these same women will find themselves irresistibly drawn to you.
Others:
JCPenny doesn’t offer luxurious bathrooms, but they do strive to have “the cleanest restrooms in the mall.” And that counts for a lot. Penny’s changing table is too high and they don’t have a sitting area. They do usually have a sitting area outside the restroom and they have large family bathrooms with changing tables and these little seats on the wall, where you can buckle your active toddler in while you take a worry-free whiz.
Sears has exactly the kind of bathroom you’d expect it to have.
Macy’s isn’t great either. The changing table is smack dab in the way. It’s messy and the sitting area is one small chair. Plus, Macy’s has so many sales that it’s always crowded and the women feel entitled to get to that stall you’re blocking right away. Something tells you they just might beat you up if you don’t agree.
Foley’s is just one small step up.
Saks Fifth Ave. is bound to have nice bathrooms, but I think you need a pair of golden x-ray glasses to find them.
Barnes & Noble is a good place to find an uncrowded elevator, but the bathrooms suck. The changing table is usually inside the handicapped stall, which is torturous in the wake of a #2. It’s always messy and there’s no sitting area. I guess they don’t want people feeling comfortable in there with all those books around.
Starbuck’s is also usually trashed out. Coffee makes people have to pee. You know it helps with regularity too.
The newer the Wal-Mart, the better the bathroom. (This is true of air ports, hospitals, theaters, etc. too.) But even in a brand new Wal-Mart with touchless entry, automatic fixtures, and stainless steel changing tables, you encounter the problem of too many children with moms who just don’t care if instead of flushing his poo paper, Tommy wadded it up and put it in the “Feminine Products Trash.”
Target is only slightly better. An old Target can be worse than a new Wal-Mart.
Restaurant Tip: The nicer the restaurant, the nicer the bathroom. But if you go too nice, baby-friendliness decreases. Middle of the road Mexican restaurants often have those floor-to-ceiling stall doors too. (Remember, females are Muchachas; males are Muchachos. In Texas, females are Caballeras; males are Caballeros.)
Best Restroom on a Road Trip: The tourist center. It’ll be clean and spacious with a changing table and you can bet it won’t be busy.
Worst Restroom on a Road Trip (that Shouldn’t Be Gross): McDonald’s in Brady, TX.
Most Surprising Restroom: The car wash in Plano. It’s a single and it’s awesome! Granite floors, stainless fixtures. Very clean. Plus, there’s free Coke and coffee while you wait!
Favorite HSU Restroom: The Logsdon Chapel. Nobody uses it except one administrative assistant and possibly one female professor. You can even find a toilet with the lid still up from being cleaned . . . in the middle of the day! The light’s off to keep people at bay, but those who know reap great rewards.
Least Favorite HSU Restroom: According to smell — the main floor in the SUB. According to functionality — 2nd Floor Abilene Hall. According to space — 1st Floor Abilene Hall.
12 Comments
February 19, 2008 at 6:50 am
Abilene Hall had some of the worst restrooms ever. 2nd Floor Moody was always my on-campus choice. If it was good enough for the Vice President, it was good enough for me.
February 19, 2008 at 8:25 am
I always wondered if Abilene Hall was bad for men too! They’re all so tiny, except one, and in that one, the locks didn’t work, the toilets didn’t flush, and the faucets didn’t run. (But if I went in there during class, I did kind of like the quietness with the sun flooding in.) Plus, I couldn’t remember which floor was which!
I’ve never been in the Vice President’s, but I bet it’s nice. I thought about Johnson, since the President’s office is there, but I really think he has his own bathroom. Even if he doesn’t, he could just walk across the street and use the one in his guest room with the closet where he keeps all his ties. 2nd floor Johnson ain’t bad, though.
February 19, 2008 at 9:31 am
I also was a fan of the Logsdon Chapel toilet during my time there. Privacy is key.
February 19, 2008 at 12:12 pm
why does everything make me think of a Seinfeld episode? Admittedly, I have a problem. Ironically, some of the worst bathrooms on campus are the ones in the newly updated Welcome Center (Hunter Hall). They didn’t update the bathrooms, nor did they didn’t listen to me when I mentioned that people would probably driving hours to come visit HSU, and I’m sure most people have to use the facilities first thing. “Welcome to HSU, please don’t judge us by our asinine bathrooms here in our Welcome Center”
I was pleasantly surprised by a McDonald’s bathroom in Plano once…Green marble and gold fixtures!
February 19, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Scott! Yikes! They should’ve listened to you. When Scott Burkhalter speaks, people ought to listen. Nothing says “we care” like asinine bathrooms. I’m not even sure Hunter’s bathrooms are safe!
I lived there for a semester. Amy & I shared a corner bath on the top floor, and between our blow dryers, curlers, and (illegal) coffee pots, microwaves, and grills, we blew out the floor at least once a week. BUT! I loved our bathroom because it had an old school heat lamp in it, which was awesome in the winter.
Are any of the old dorm bathrooms still functioning? If so, you could at least have privacy any time you wanted.
Was that McD’s on the corner of Preston and 121, by a Chic-fil-a and across from a huge mall? I haven’t been in that bathroom, but it is a fancy-schmancy McD’s with curio cabinets and buffet tables. That’s one thing about Plano; it might not have much vintage charm, but if you’re low on cash and still want to feel like you’re going on a fancy date, you can always hit up the McDonald’s with the chandeliers.
February 19, 2008 at 4:09 pm
You have regular routes to visit your family, and I’m guessing you have a regular bathroom stop(?). On long trips, which is of greater value to you: clean restrooms, or on/off convenience?
February 19, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Well, I am habitual about where, but it depends on the destination & the company.
Here to Altus and here to Abilene, offer few choices. Plus, now I’ve got to make the stops in conjunction w/ Caelyn’s happiness, if possible. I haven’t figured out the best place to stop between here & Altus yet. Wichita Falls, I guess, but where in Wichita Falls? (Have you been to Wichita Falls?) I’m not sure about here to Abilene either. (You should be able to make some recommendations!) On the way home from Abilene, Weatherford makes good sense. But on the way there, it feels like we’ve just gotten started, even though we’ve been driving for over an hour just to get out of DFW. Here to San Antonio has plenty of options!
If I’m by myself/with Caelyn, I’ll probably pick convenience and if it’s getting dark, lights/other people. If I’m w/ Chris, I’ll pick cleanliness, because I don’t mind long car trips. I’d be even more prone to pick cleanliness on the drive to SA because it’s more exciting or because I’ll remember that we stopped at that little local restaurant & think it would be neat to stop again.
Formerly, by myself between Abilene & Altus, I’d stop at Allsups in Seymour or Dairy Queen in Munday, which were sort of okay on cleanliness. Everything’s convenient on that drive. One time a bee flew in my car at the DQ, so I avoided it for a while.
What about you?
February 19, 2008 at 10:25 pm
yeah, all the bathrooms still work! Surprising as that is. Neglected, but functioning. I think that mcdonalds was off of the Dallas north tollway at Plano parkway.. Close to the Ferrari and Porsche dealers I think. I love that street!
February 20, 2008 at 8:36 am
Scott–
Here’s what you do:
1. Snag a pack of Lysol wipes & toilet paper from your house.
2. Choose a neglected bathroom in the ideal location based on proximity for “emergencies” and distance for seclusion.
3. Check for functioning fixtures.
4. Scan for spiders and other bugs.
5. Give things a quick clean with the Lysol wipes.
6. Stock bathroom with your fav. toilet paper from home.
7. Turn on heat lamp and enjoy your very own private sauna/bathroom oasis!
Okay, THAT was George Costanza! Turn the tub into a nap station and use the soap dish as an alarm clock shelf and the picture would be complete.
Next time you’re in Plano, you and Chris could spend the whole day livin’ it up on that street!
February 21, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Freshmen year – Johnson building, 1st floor. I preferred the one next to the computer labs, but the northside one was just as good.
After that I found the Logsdon sanctuary. The hours I spent there over the next 7 years. Ah, memories.
About year 2 of the Q-town to A-town trek, the Spur Allsup’s put some effort into their bathroom. Painted it a mild purple, fake flowers, potpourri. Amazing. Unfortunately it has since changed management and is back to just another Allsup’s bathroom.
Back when Lanny was in charge, a friend of mine would meet with him just to visit, no joke. I think he got to use the Presidential restroom as well, which is somewhere in that suite in Sandefer where the prez’s office used to be.
February 21, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Eww, Allsups heads are the worst! Those little sliding lock things break a lot, the toilet paper’s always running low (and often sitting on the floor), there’s never any soap (or paper towels), the faucet won’t stop running (but never gets warm), the toilet seat is cracked, and the light bulb flickers the whole time. It’s like those are the exact specifications for every Allsups, and some district manager makes routine visits to make sure it never changes. Also, three seconds in Allsups leaves you smelling like stale cigarettes and raw chicken for the next 18 months.
February 21, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Walt — I think the “newness” of Johnson makes its bathrooms more enjoyable. This is also true of Logsdon in general, though none can compare to the Sanctuary. (I visited upstairs Skyles once. It was nice, but it was my last semester of grad. school, so I didn’t think it counted. I’ve never been in the ones in the Missions building or the new music hall. They might have potential.)
Lanny never struck me as a fun conversationalist! But, obviously, bathroom power (?) is the most important quality in a friend. I wonder who gets to use the old Prez Can now that Turner offices in Johnson? I should’ve spent more time talking to Turner about Browning. I’m sure I could’ve landed a golden key.
Mild Purple!!!
Have you changed your travel bathroom habits since the twins came along?
Lex! That’s a perfect description!!
Allsups is pretty dirty. And cleanliness is the higher value for me, but I’ll make sacrifices when it’s for the good of everyone else. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve personally ever used that bathroom at Allsups in Seymour. I’ve stopped there with other people who have used it, so I’ve felt okay about stopping there by myself. But, now that I think about it, I stopped there for a drink, for gas, and for a flat tire, but I never went into the restroom. I’ve actually taken advantage of the Munday DQ one, which was decently “clean,” but didn’t have anywhere to set anything you might have brought in, i.e. purse or diaper bag.
I’m guessing Walt’s journey to Q-town was similar to mine to (the other) A-town, with few options. I can’t even remember seeing many fast food places or “fancy” gas stations. No grocery stores or Wal-Marts or hospitals. It was either Allsups, DQ, or the courthouse, which seems awful conspicuous.