It’s been a busy weekend. So busy that when I called my mom this morning, after checking the schedule she sent to be sure I wouldn’t be interrupting something, we had this conversation:
Mom: “Hi! How are you? Loweta says hello.”
Me: “You’re with Loweta?”
Mom: “Yes, it’s Monday.”
And that’s when it hit me. Today is Monday. Not Thursday.
Incidentally, my mom’s “schedule” is pretty crazy this “semester.” Just in case you’re the sort who needs to know way too much inane information (and let’s face it, you ARE reading For the Record):
Mondays: Meet from 9 to 5 with Loweta (prayer partner/mentor), then teach Precept Bible Study at First Baptist.
Tuesdays: Teach another Precept Bible Study at FBC in the morning, then do lunch with study ladies.
Wednesdays: Teach Bible study at the Base Chapel in the morning, then teach AWANA in the evening, after swinging by Taco Bell for a bean burrito.
Thursdays: Mentor a lady in the afternoon.
Fridays: Clean & try to meet goal of seeing each grandbaby, who both live at least 180 miles away, every month.
Saturdays: Return from seeing said grandbabies.
Sundays: Teach inductive study-style Sunday School class at home church (not FBC) in the mornings, go to morning services, take nap, return to church to teach Women’s Bible study & attend evening services.
Every day: Manage prayer chain, write letters to countless people, take care of husband & home, and meet the demands of being extremely popular in a small town.
Okay. So I might not have been as busy as my mom this weekend, but I was still busy. And I’m still tired. Plus, I’m supposed to be doing laundry and sorting clothes/toys to take to Caelyn’s little cousin when we girls head to Oklahoma on Wednesday.
You know what that means: another mindless We Need to Talk.
PART I
1. Chris & I went out to eat with some of my birthday money (from July!) on Friday night and then watched a movie in our sumptuous bed.
a) At the restaurant, Caelyn informed us (via her behavior) that she’s ready to graduate to a booster seat. She’d also like to believe she’s ready for a cup with a lid/straw instead of a sippy. She’s mastered the straw, but she still tips the cup forward, spilling milk all over her lap. It’s possible that she’ll never overcome this, as I did the same thing with my water glass, not once, but twice during the same dinner.
b) We watched Russell Crowe and Denzel Washington in American Gangster, which is inspired by the true story of drug lord Frank Lucas and the former deep corruption of the NYPD. Through the work of Russell Crowe’s character, two thirds of the NYPD were arrested. Two thirds! It’s an unsettling film in some regards, but it’s pretty darn good too. You could say it’s a grittier, dirtier Catch Me If You Can. At the very least, they’re both about Franks.
2. In case your deductive reasoning skills need sharpening, we celebrated my nephew, Graham’s, first birthday this weekend. We also threw in a celebration for my mother-in-law, Jan’s, birthday and a bonus estate sale for Chris’ Grammie, who’s moving from her retirement center apartment to a set-up with medical assistance. We did all of this on Saturday. After 3 o’clock. It was a mad-dash to fit it all in, and in the end, we didn’t. We went back on Sunday to move a few more things.
Caelyn and I hung out with my sister-in-law and her two kids while the men did the grunt work and Jan directed. The kids had fun, but they’re not quite the right ages yet. Finley (3 1/2) desperately wanted Caelyn (20 months) to play Hide and Seek. When Finley walked Caelyn back to her room, said, “Go hide!” and shut the door, Caelyn flipped out. Then Finley went back in, patted her on the shoulder, and said, “Don’t be scared. Hide and Seek is fun.”
One of these gamers is more advanced than the other.
When I explained that Caelyn just didn’t understand, Finley suggested Simon Says as a consolation game.
You can imagine how that went.
Nonetheless, Caelyn had a great time. She even got to sit at the “big kids” table and eat pizza.
3. Those “few things” on Sunday turned out to be a lot of things. We headed to Arlington straight from church, where Caelyn wasn’t changed in the nursery and leaked all over my shirt that I wore until 8 p.m. when we returned home. She fell asleep on the way over, so I dropped Chris off and kept driving. My adventure took me by Turning Point High School, located directly across from a church with this marque:
“No contemporary services. We do church the old-fashioned way.”
After she woke up, we hung out by ourselves at Chris’ parents’ house. Our afternoon consisted of catching an episode of The Twilight Zone, which could easily explain everything on Lost in under an hour, and remembering why I’m not excited about summer, despite my wistful feelings about it on that morning, after a walk.
Juliet! I know you know what’s going on. If you love me, you’ll tell me!
***
I’ll leave the Lost speculation to you and just cover the walk:
First, we tackled a hill across from my in-laws’ house, where we snapped this pic two Thanksgivings ago.
Finley & Bald Caelyn
I sat in the grass and watched Caelyn run around before we checked out the pond and walked around the block. We saw a couple turtles. And then a snake.
Not in the pond, but about two inches from our feet.
I took the opportunity to teach Caelyn that some of God’s creation should be wondered at from afar, but never touched without a certified adult. Undaunted, we headed back to the hill. Chris called while we were scaling, which almost prevented me from seeing the WASP not one centimeter from my toe-exposing flop! It was cool and drizzling, yet there was a WASP . . . in the grass . . . where I’d been sitting 15 minutes before!
I screamed/shrieked/cried in Chris’ ear and hurried Caelyn back down the hill saying, “It’s not going to get us. If we just walk away, it won’t get us. Don’t look back. It’s not going to get us,” in my panic voice, which I can’t replicate in writing. Just trust me when I tell you that you’ll recognize it when you hear it.
When I calmed down, I saw a massive spider. I’m not afraid of spiders. They don’t give me nightmares or cause me to scan the porch before I leave my home or run screaming through our apartment corridor while a couple looks at the model across from ours, prompting Chris to say, “Katy! They’re trying to show the apartment!” And me to respond, “If you’re gonna live here, you better know what you’re getting into. If they can’t get rid of those wasp nests, they don’t deserve to rent apartments!”
In those moments, I believe every word of that ridiculous statement. I also believe that you should avoid bees, wasps, etc. too. But I’ll expect you to remove the assailant if we encounter one together. I know there’s not really any danger. To you. I’m just going to run three blocks in the other direction while you take care of things.
I don’t feel that way about spiders. But I don’t want them touching me either. So we spent the rest of the evening inside.
4. Then it was more suffering in church this Sunday. The “Grace Sufficient” kind. More thoughts on that later, if I can remember them, but for now:
Are you more likely to expect a miracle or disaster?
**
PART II
5. You just think I’ll be turning 27 this summer. I’ll really be turning somewhere between 45 and 63. In other words, Cristin and I are signing up for a Water Aerobics class. But, don’t worry. We’ll make sure to wear “cute” suits.
Can you spot us?
6. Unstoppable Moron tipped us off to this one not long ago. But it bears more thought:
Are people really stupid and greedy enough to participate in activities they know will ruin their lives? Absolutely.
Is network television sleazy and greedy enough to exploit the shambles of American marriage? You betcha.
7. For the Record, apparently, has become a hot spot for for sexy pictures of Danielle Fisher, aka Topanga Lawrence! Other recent hits include:
“i’m an adult who likes to pee my pants”
“guys sitting on the potty older guys”
and most disturbingly:
“katy praise sex “
8. Chris brought to my attention Avalon’s new album of covers of Christian Music’s greatest hits. (Yes, “Place in This World” and “El Shaddai” are included.) I know some of you secretly (or proudly) harbor Avalon love, so I’ll keep my commentary on the personal story side:
In high school, my friend C.C. had me check his email for him once. I can’t remember why. He was probably too busy watching Golden Girls. Whatever the case, getting me to do it meant relinquishing his password. Since our circle of friends played pranks on each other relentlessly, I stored this info in my memory. Later, Kara and I broke into his account and sent a message to a guy we picked randomly by performing a search for taken Hotmail addresses. The guy wrote back!
Long story short, in our first reply, we told the guy that C.C.’s greatest, life-long dream was to be in Avalon. Somehow or another, by the time it was all over, we also put C.C. in a wheelchair that rolled into a pothole after he wheeled away in a huff from a friend’s house, where he’d received a jump rope for a Christmas present.
Once C.C. finally figured out what we were doing, he pointed out that this guy probably really hoped to make a good friend and needed the love of Jesus. But it was funny while it lasted.
C.C. not pictured.
9. How do you feel about a man holding the role of “Marriage Pastor” when he’s only been married for three years?
10. Caelyn has started showing compassion whenever you’re sad. That means if she’s pitching a fit and you start to tear up too, she’ll instantly stop, come over, wipe your eyes, pat your head, and give you a hug and a kiss. Then she’ll smile and bring you something she thinks is cool. It melts my heart.
But my question is: Does faking sadness to put an end to a fit constitute manipulation?
You should know that I’ve also played “Who can be the best tree?” and “Who can chew with their mouth closed the longest?” with a group of kids.
And that’s it. You’ve just thrown 15 minutes of your life away and I don’t even have a prize for you. Just this:
I promise when I get back from The Native American State, I’ll give you some high-quality posting.
Until then, I’m sorry. But thanks for reading! If you do happen to find something in here worth commenting on, I’ll do my best to sneak in a response in between the packing and family visiting. See you then!
Mondays With Loweta! Like Tuesdays With Morrie. But earlier. And with Loweta.
Three years or a zillion, the title “Marriage Pastor” seems weird to me. Whatever happened to plain old Pastor?
Lex — I know! She should write a book and that should be the exact title of it, punctuation and all. She’s been meeting with Loweta since I was in high school, so she should have plenty of material. Plus, Loweta makes Mom a big breakfast and a fancy lunch every Monday. She’s kind of a free spirit, a widow, who paints in the middle of the night, likes to sparkle, and has two long-haired dachshunds she calls “The Girls.” I think those details could work well.
I’m with you on “Marriage Pastor” being weird. (I’m starting to think “plain old Pastor” and fish cake have a lot in common. They don’t make that. Anymore. But they probably should, in regard to Pastors, not fish cake.) That was my first thought too, but I quickly got derailed by “I’ve only been married 3 1/2 years.” I could just be a snob, but it’s hard to imagine a couple passing the big “benchmarks” of marriage in that time. I’ve been married 3 1/2 years. I don’t feel like a newlywed, but I don’t feel qualified to pastor marriages either, although I don’t even know what that means. I’m having an even harder time figuring it out, considering the “Marriage Pastor” can’t even mentor another couple, according to the rules set up by his own program. He announced a mentoring marriage deal and requested couples who have been married 7 years or more to sign up as mentors. Just seems weird to me.
In the first picture of the “Gamers” Caelyn looks just like a Merritt! I barely even recognized her. Kevin thinks she looks so much like Jan, all the time. I really saw it in the shot! Thanks for the cute pics! I love seeing them. I need to find the email with the link the the Flikr site again!
JSmo — I’ve never seen her hold her mouth like she is in that pic! Something captivating is obviously happening, as she and Fin both look a little stunned. But she’s definitely got a bit of Merritt in her. And there’s a lot of Merritt in those big, dark chocolate eyes with long lashes. Actually, I think she looks quite a bit like both Chris and me, which I guess makes her a Bullard-Wegenhoft. :) I’ll have to find a recent pic of Jan and Caelyn side by side. You’ll have to tell Kev, though, that Jan (and most of the Merritts) thinks Caelyn is the spitting image of me!
I’m glad you enjoyed the pics! For more at Chris’ Flickr, you needn’t look any further than “Liner Notes” in the sidebar. (There’s a link there.)